Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gnome Sweet Gnome


The Legend:  Teens high on LSD steal a talking garden gnome that turns out to be a small child.

Status:  False

Variations
  • They believe they've caught a goblin, which turns out to be a small child.
Analysis

The story goes like this.  A group of friends are high on LSD and driving around the countryside when they think they see something run across the road in front of their car.  One of them declares it was a goblin, and because they are high, this makes perfect sense to everyone. They get out of the car, find the goblin, bring it home with them, and eventually shut it into the closet so it can't get away.

The next morning in the sober light of day, they open the closet to find a small boy cowering in fear in the back of the closet. Some versions say the child is a girl too scared to speak, others say the child is an autistic boy. One ending has the boys recognized as heroes for finding a lost child, another has the boys arrested for child abduction.

It seems reasonable that teenagers tripping on LSD might see a garden gnome as animated and talking to them. But there are no news stories of small children ever having been mistaken for a goblin, abducted and hidden away in a closet overnight. Garden gnomes have been stolen and taken on vacations and any manner of silliness, but not by tripping teenagers who thought it was Yoda.

This is another scare story about LSD, similar to the babysitter who accidentally cooks the baby thinking it is a turkey. The message is that drug users can hurt our children, and that using illegal drugs can lead to horribly tragic events.