Friday, January 16, 2009

The LSD Spinal Tap


The Legend:  You can never work for the federal government because they can take a spinal tap to see if you've ever used LSD.

Status:  False

Variations:
  • You can ever work for NASA because they perform a pre-employment spinal tap to make sure you've never done LSD.
  • A spinal tap is required before you can become a pilot.
Analysis:

I can see it now. One line of applicants for urine testing, a second group lined up for a pre-employment spinal tap. Not gonna happen. For starters, LSD does not remain in your spinal fluid, as discussed earlier, so there is nothing there to test for.

Additionally, spinal taps are not a minor, non-invasive procedure like a urinalysis. You might be given a hair or urine test before employment, but it's a pretty safe bet that you will not ever be given a pre-employment spinal tap.

Many employers, including the federal government, have guidelines and policies prohibiting them from hiring anyone who has used certain illegal drugs a specified number of years before applying for the job. Many employers also have Drug Free Workplace policies that prohibit current use. However, no one is administering spinal taps as a method of screening employees.